advice not wanted

As some may know, I have some chronic health issues and I have multiple specialists trying to manage it all. What I find odd about that is while they send each other notes after meeting with me they don’t really want to work together. The issues that I deal with are all interrelated and it would make a lot more sense if they banded together as a team and treated me collectively. That would make things too easy though, no? This way the problems can continue and they can continue to bill for treating me treat me and wonder why things aren’t improving.

I always joke that I’m keeping these doctors in business and putting their children, and their children’s children through university. As they say in the twitter world #truestory.

In addition to the specialists I see, I also see a homeopath from time to time. I know that people have advice and opinions on anything outside of the ‘normal’ western medicine. I will admit that I’ve always had my reservations about it and maybe have not always been so willing to cooperate. Recently, I have had a change of heart. There have been flashes of inspiration and moments where I realize that if someone is willing to help me – then I should give it a try. What could it hurt? Babe is a strong believer in homeopathy, and since he has been so supportive through all my battles, I also feel that this is something I can do for him.

When you’re dealing with an illness, disease, ailment, even pregnancy – there is always someone out there that will give you their ‘free’ advice. Family members, friends, and strangers are always willing to give me advice on how to ‘get better’. It’s almost as if people have this *need* to fix me, like that would make their lives easier if I was healthier. I’ve been told to see naturopaths (and did for a few years – didn’t work), to take shark cartilage, MSM, fish oils, eat more cantaloupe, more salmon, to pray, to get acupuncture, to go gluten-free, to stop eating meat, to stand on one leg for 2 hours a week, to stand on no legs and use my tongue to balance, to read this book and that book, but not the other book. As you can see the list is endless. I received the same advice during my pregnancy, but that for some reason was easier to tune out.

It’s always amazed me that everyone wants to talk at me and try to tell me how to live my life but never look at their own. Why is it easier to offer advice but not take it? Are we all programmed to try to *help* others but would prefer to struggle on our own? What is it about getting advice from strangers or well wishers that rubs us the wrong way?

I know with parenting the friendly neighbourhood advice giver is always around the corner. Every corner. Even on straight roads, they pop out of nowhere offering whatever tidbit of information that makes you want to punch them in the face. I try to just smile, say thank you and keep on moving. The one piece of advice that I stick to is to base my decisions on what works for my family, this is a golden one. It came in handy during the struggles with breastfeeding versus formula. The guilt of that decision will always be in the back of my mind, but I made the right decision for me and Baby. You just have to keep things real, anything other than that is too much work.

I was at the mall the other day and sat down to feed Baby. Baby wasn’t interested in the bottle after downing half of it in one breath. This lovely, older, European woman (I love them) came over and in broken English asked about Baby and let me know that Baby is beautiful (thanks!). This lovely woman then leaned over picked up the bottle and tried to feed Baby. I instantly was taken aback and that what the eff? But then I realized that she was trying to help so in seconds I lowered my back (it was raised like a cats, ready to pounce) and let this woman help. I have realized recently that accepting help, when it’s offered from a good place, isn’t so bad. Maybe this I have turned over a new leaf? Is that the saying? It doesn’t make much sense if it is the right saying.

I challenge you to do the same – accept help when it’s offered. If it’s in your nature to take things on and do everything without assistance, take a break and accept help. You could even be so bold to ask for help – with laundry, with cleaning, meals, dishes, painting, unpacking, packing, anything!

Oh no.

It’s happened.

I’ve become one of those people.

I’m sorry.

This entry was posted in March 2013 and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to advice not wanted

  1. Some people definitely don’t know when to shut up and evaluate when advice is wanted. I remember my wife told me when she was pregnant that every woman wanted to tell her their pregnancy story. Some stories were downright scary and upsetting. Boundaries – need to learn ’em. Btw, I agree that doctors need to get together more when it comes to treating a single patient. You wonder sometimes if they ever talk.

  2. Ha ha ha love the ending πŸ™‚ and no, I really couldn’t be that bold…not ready to ask for help..grrr
    Hope you’re doing well despite the medical interventions πŸ™‚

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