In Laws or Out Laws?

When you make that big decision to get married, do we ever really think about what we’re actually committing to?Β  Please don’t get me wrong, I love my husband – like head over heels love him. Marrying him is one of the best decisions I have ever made. What I wasn’t exposed to enough prior to the whole marriage and lifetime discussions was his family!

I am often reminded that other peoples families are strange because they are not yours and are therefore unfamiliar which makes them, at times, hard to understand. My in laws are maybe just too different from what I am used to for me to ever feel like I am a member of their family let alone understand them…

The Babe is currently at his parents for the 4th consecutive weekend helping with some task*. He is working on something that only he could do. We suggested that Baby and I go along so that the In Laws could spend some time with Baby. That seemed to be a little too much for the In Laws as that hour could be spent grocery shopping or planning for the week ahead.

*there is at least one or two tasks per month that takes weeks to complete thus not allowing Babe to enjoy some much needed down time or time with Baby, dog, and lovely wife!

Seriously though? Really?!? Are my expectations just too high?! Shouldn’t Grandparents jump at the chance to spend some time with their granddaughter? Am I wrong?? Is this just me?!

It’s not just the parental In Laws…the sibling In Laws are no better. In fact they could be considered worse. You think I am exaggerating, but no I am not. This is the first grandbaby for the Babe’s side and his parents see her every couple weeks (if not longer and we live REALLY close too) and his siblings haven’t seen her since Christmas day.

They don’t email or text, calling is just out of their realm of possible things to do with a phone. I would blame their lack of interest in their niece on age but the youngest is nearing 30 and the eldest is nearing 40. We never, ever, ever (thanks T.Swift!) hear from them. Like ever. But when I see Mother In Law she is constantly telling me how Sister In Laws want/need to bond with Baby. I don’t seem to understand how that will happen if they don’t put effort into it – I’ve tried. Babe has tried. Nothing.


I see my parents weekly, my sister monthly, and my brother almost monthly. They email, call, or text and ask about Baby. They know her age (in weeks), weight, percentile for height and weight! Babe’s family would have no idea. Does this fault lie with me or them? Or does it fall on the Babe?

Either way the only one who loses is Baby. She misses out on bonding with the In Laws and knowing her fathers side of the family.

Maybe we’re okay with that though…


Any advice or anyone else in a similar situation? Are my In Laws the only ones who don’t show an interest in Baby? Do I really need to work harder or can I just let things be?

(I am sure this won’t be my only post about the In Laws, they always seem to keep me guessing and shaking my head. Like the autographed baseball we received from Brother In Law for Baby when she was first born. Baseball? What?!)

This entry was posted in January 2013 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to In Laws or Out Laws?

  1. It sounds to me that they are a bit distant. You are right in that they are the ones who are losing out.

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