Currently I am what some may call a stay at home mom. A domestic engineer. The one who maintains the domestic dwelling and tends to the offspring. Most of what is implied with all of that is true. I don’t really do much in terms of food preparation or making meals.
I have been off work for about 8 or 9 months and have about 7 months remaining in my maternity leave. I have loved every minute of being home, I was off for about 4 and a half months before Baby arrived. It has been am amazing experience and I definitely dread having to return to my current job. Fingers crossed tightly that I can find something new and exciting to start when my time off ends.
Back to the matter at hand – is loneliness normal for this stage in my life? I spent the summer days enjoying the sunshine, my parents pool, and relaxing. I managed to spend sometime with friends and of course with Babe & Dog. I planned and prepared the house and my life for the arrival of Baby.
Baby arrived and my life has never been better! But I will admit that this lonely feeling creeps into my days every now and then. I often wonder if I’m the only one who feels lonely while entertaining Baby and Dog. Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong? Baby and I have dance parties in the afternoon, we have rolling over time in the mornings, and lots of story time. Ours days are filled with lots of learning opportunities for Baby. Could it be that I’m so focused on her development that I’m sacrificing my own? Is this even allowed or am I a bad mother for thinking it? or is this a normal thought but I’m just saying it out loud when no one else would?
There have definitely been days where I wonder how people do this day in and day out, forever. Am I missing something? My days are filled with diapers, bottles, rice cereal and maybe one outing a day. It can become a little mundane and at the same time can be so exhausting.
Is loneliness a normal by-product of becoming a new mother? I guess I struggle with the fact that my friends live more than a 30 minute drive from my home, and in other communities. Would it be any different if we all lived closer? Would I see people more often? Has TV become my new BFF?
It may be a case of the winter blahs, so hopefully with Spring around the corner things will look better in the sunshine. I have enrolled Baby and I in a music program that starts in April, and a mothers group that also begins in April. But seriously though, is motherhood supposed to have an air of loneliness that comes and goes?